My thoughts

 

To the editor,

 

Once again, thanks to the Federal Government for taking care of American citizens – as if I have to tell you. It’s especially reassuring to know the Obamacare web site appears to be healing from the initial hemorrhaging of October 1.  I visited the site, Healthcare.gov, and found it stimulating in as much as watching a dirigible catch fire and plummet to the ground. 

What happened? Staff and third-party contractors were confused. They just stood around the water cooler, eating stale donuts, pointing fingers at each other.  Yet, we’ve come to expect disasters from computer technology. Healthy one second, sick as a chocolate-stuffed Pomeranian the next.  Who’s responsible? Who knows? It’s not like the responsible person will step forward and confess, “Help, my shoes are untied again and I have yogurt for brains.”

No doubt marketing viruses will spring forth and spin a reassuring fib so that what was a close shave for the Obama Administration (Motto:  “Spies R Us”) will resemble springtime in Vermont. And we Americans know about close shaves, whether it’s resuscitating furloughed federal government employees or grooming a pair of hairy armpits.

Shaving is an on again, off again fascination with U.S. hair producers. The three-day stubble is quite popular today but tomorrow it could be -- clean shaven hamsters.  This obviously has nothing to do with what we want; it has to do with ads pitching the ridiculous.

Oh, the hoopla when the first twin-blade razor came out. Catchy animations showed the first blade yanking the hair so the second blade could cut it again. It made total sense! “But three blades would sell better!” marketing execs exclaimed -- like they’d invented duct tape.

So now we have how many -- six blades? Here’s my best guess on how they work: The first blade cuts the hair. The second blade wishes it had. The third blade has low self-esteem. The forth blade hates math. The fifth blade didn’t finish middle school. The sixth blade has a funny itch in an unmentionable place.

Blade seven will have a Harvard diploma – for Pete’s sake. Whether we’re dealing with sporadically functioning technology, recreational shaving, scorching spaghetti, or pitching doomed online insurance sales, failures abound.

And so it goes. More lies and deception? You tell me.

 I’m sticking with my old double-edge safety razor; the blades are cheap. Not that I’d tell them! I don’t want to damage their self-esteem.

 

Joe Barnhart

Dillon